Line Rider Helicopter Escape.

Wow, this is just... wow

Remember 1999?

Well the best part of that year is back. YOU DON'T KNOW JACK

Seriously! Karaoke!

WOLFMOTHER SINGS BUSTA MOVE!!! AND THEY ARE SO BAD AT IT!!! Glee!

PANCAKE MOUNTAIN

So, let's pretend you're starting a new children's show. Then, you put it on the net, cause well, why not? TV is for suckers after all. Then cause you're hip enough to make a kids show on the net, you get all of Dave's favorite bands to do performances on the show! Heck, The Evans got together just to do a song for the show and stuck together!

There's stuff by The Evens, Metric, and even the Flaming Lips guy doing Karaoke
It makes me wish I had kids so I could raise them up right. Punk and literate

Things I love

Japan + Wrestling = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oVSyy932a8&NR

Seriously, that guy is amazing

Silly Sony

Hey internet. I thought about not posting this, since everyone with a computer is all up in arms about it, but if you're not a video game geek who checks out Joystiq, Something Awful, or Penny Arcade, you might not know about Sony's most recent snafu. Basically, they set up a fan site to their own product, and it was so obviously fake that it wasn't even funny. Oh man, if only you could still see the horrible rap video they made... Anyways, Sony owned up to it that it's fake, but still it just makes you wonder who's doing this and getting away with it

Oh CHSR... it was going so well

So today, I flipped over to the trustworthy college station not knowing what to hear, but certainly not expecting to hear Lady Sovereign. It was that special shocking kind of disappointment. Like chatting up a hot librarian chick a rock show, then going out for coffees, and then a date, bringing her home to my place, and finding out she has a tweety bird tattoo on her tits. Not cool hypothetical hot librarian chick!

worth another try

Peanut butter Twix... interesting. I think I need to eat more to decide if they're a worth replacement to normal Twix. They're good, but I looked down at my feet and wasn't surprised that my socks were still there

food

Mmm, Ryan's mom fed me all kinds of food last night, including some of the best carrot cake evers! This morning i took her out to Tim's to get those breakfast sandwiches. They are so good! Seriously, go eat one tomorrow, you'll thank me later.
I rented Splinter Cell and Trauma Center for the Wii. Splinter Cell sucks hard. The thing about the Wii is that the controller makes all the games pretty fun. Except when they make horrible controls for it that are pretty unresponsive. I've played it for about 30 minutes and it just makes me angry. Maybe I could get used to the controls, but why bother? They don't work well.

Now Trauma Center on the other hand, is hella sweet! It is what the Wii controller is all about. Even though it's a remake of a game for the DS with it's touch control pad... but the principal is the same, and they added some extra stuff for Wii-ing and it = all kinds of fun. I mean, it's a surgery game! I get to cut people open and take out tumors, and where's the harm in learning that?

just cause

I should get a kitty

Preacher

I hear they're making a Preacher series on HBO again... You hear these rumors a lot but this time I saw a picture of Arseface! Obviously it's a photoshoped deal, but still.... A Preacher tv series would be awesome

a wii bit of family fun

So i took the Wii out to the parents on the weekend. They heart the bowling game! We must have bowled for like 2 hours
And I heart the bowling too, so it all worked out.

Anybody else out there on the tubes have a Wii? wanna be friends?

I heart Richard Dawkins

Seriously, I'd probably go gay for the man. He's a big name in evolutionary biology, and he's written a few books on the subject, in layman's terms, and he did a lecture at McGill university and it was on the CBC radio tonight on ideas. I'll have to download the podcast when it's available, just to here those delightful british tones talk about DNA

A whole lot of nothing

So I went into work today (on a Saturday no less!) to pull wire. It's all we were gonna do today, and we should have been done around 11 or so.

Every possible thing went wrong. The rope is too big, we get smaller ropes, the smaller ropes break, we re-tie the end of the big rope to fit it in, and then the wire comes off of that rope and we have to pull all the wire back out again... trust me, it's a lot more frustrating then that sounds. So we get to do it all again on Monday. Huzzah

Wii

Oh my, but Zelda is pretty! Liz is playing it now and said, "This very strange" I have to agree. But it's pretty awesome. I went to Walmart around 7 this morning and there were 30 people in line, so I drove over to Zellers. Nobody in line! So I got one of 2 that they had for sale there, and I am a happy Dave.


I mean, look at it, all glowing and holy...

A change of plans

So Danielle got the funeral home job in Corner Brook. They were supposed to call her around 4 weeks ago so yeah we were pretty sure that it was not going to happen and she was gonna move here and look for work around here, or at least somewhere in NB. But she got the job now, so she's moving there, which is good cause she gets to be apprenticed and learn her trade, but is bad because I don't get to eat pizza and cuddle while watching Scrubs

What a beautiful day to get rained on

Today was so god damned hot!
Now, I've been tricked by the weather network before, they say it's gonna be super warm, I don't wear many clothes to work and get frozen.
You fool me once, shame on you. You fool me you can't fool me again
But today it said ti was gonna be warm and it was right! By 10 o'clock I was sweating and had to take off my underwear. TRUE STORY! I was wearing joggers in lieu of long underwear, and it was just too much for an 18 degree day. I had to put my hoodie back on when it started raining as I measured out 100 foot lengths of #8 wire, but I didn't even have to zip it up, cause it was still really nice.

You know, as far as getting rained on goes

The Sardakk N'Orr conquer the galaxy

So I finally played my big ass board game! And I won! Woot! I played as the bug race, and I swarmed the crap out of Liz's home planet (a former prison colony, as she was playing the pirate race) to complete my secondary objective card, giving me a two point lead and victory! It took for goddamned ever to play. A lot of it was me not completely knowing the rules and looking stuff up as I tried to teach it. The we started around 6 after choosing races and setting up the board and stuff and finished a little after 12. Oddly enough, for space war game, there were only 2 fights in the entire 6 hours, 1 where I took Liz's home planet (through a sneaky jump through a worm hole) and 1 where Liz was mad at that and fought the closest player available, which was Scotty, and wiped him out with her War Sun (which if it sounds a lot like a Death Star, is cause that's exactly what it was). Ryan managed to remain a peace loving people and still come in second. At any rate, good times were had, even if some people got cranky because it was late and I was making their belly rumble. Oh yeah, I made Taco Salad for everybody Can't expect people to sit for 6 hours and not eat after all


This is about half way through the game, with Scotty and Ryan looking on. We took these pictures as proof that Scotty was in fact playing a game, so his GF would be maybe less upset

Halloween pics

This is Jess's mom in the coolest halloween pic ever


I helped Liz put the blood on her jacket. We went through 7 babies, they don't hold as much as you'd think

Me and Jess and Liz, all nicely drunk

This is me doing a tarot reading for the mimes. Look how freaked out she is! I'm awesome. And this is the only pic that you can see my astroboy hair in, and it's from behind. BOO

A full heady odor

Dear the internet. Today at work, I had such a good fart. Now my farts by no means smell good normally, but this was awe inspiring. I mean, it was as thick and stinky as a fart can get before it's classified as poo. Seriously, this was such a bountiful fart, that I was hungry afterwards

I need a lute

Bard 51% Combativeness, 53% Sneakiness, 70% Intellect, 11% Spirituality

Dashing and multi-talented: You are a Bard! A decent warriors, reasonable spell-caster, and fairly good at tricking people, the Bard is the jack of all trades. These charming fellows live by their wits, though a sharp blade, a few spells, and some lockpicks never hurt. Smart, sneaky, and aggressive, you're probably good at most things you try. You don’t have much need for spirituality or superstition and are much more likely to live in the here and now... and if you can get some fun and profit out of the here and now, even better.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on Combativeness You scored higher than 99% on Sneakiness You scored higher than 99% on Intellect You scored higher than 99% on Spirituality

Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Seriously, this sucked hard

Honest to god, it took me and hour to put up a single piece of pipe in a hallway. IT WAS FRICKEN PACKED! I hope nothing else has to go up in the ceiling, or at least I hope I don't have to put it there. At least I remembered my earplugs. Cause you know how you put a nail up into cement?

With bullets

Halloween with Jess's mom

So it's another Halloween, so that means it's time for another party at Jess's place. They spend so much time spookifying their place... it's awesome! It is generally an older crowd party, friends of Jess's mom and such, then me and Jess and Liz there for our aged crew. But still it was fun, lots of booze and food. I finished my booze quick then Jess's mom fed me margaritas. Good stuff! And i found a set of tarot cards there, so I started taking random tarot readings for people I'd never met before. It was pretty fun stuff. Then it was pass out time so I ended up in bed between Jess and Liz. Not as much fun as I would have thought it'd be. Far too warm and snore-filled.

Hmm, I can't remember if they ever read this. It'll be funny either way

Twilight Imperium

So I got my big giant crazy board game! I want to play people!

There's a reason he's the greatest thing in comics

Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time
- Alan Moore



The greatest six word story ever

Testament

So I don't know how the internet likes my posts about comic books. Do you like them internet? Do you just pass them by? Well, this isn't just any comic post. It's a post about the greatest story ever told

The Bible

Yeah, that's right, I read a comic about the bible. AND IT IS SO GOD DAMNED GOOD!!!!
Testament is comic book, that has both the old school stories, slightly in the future counterparts, and the gods / demons fighting over them in the middle. It's amazing because of the way it uses the comic medium to tell a story in a way that just wouldn't work in any other form. The way these guys lay out the panels is inspiring.







I mean come on! That is just so pretty! And we get to see the gods acutally reaching into differing timelines of a continuing story jut by crossing panels. And mirroring panels for the classic and modern stories, the parallels are brought to another level.

In closing: comics are awesome

Man of the Year

So I went and saw Man of the Year with Liz last sunday. It's not a bad movie, it's got funny stuff with Robin Williams, Christopher Walken and Lewis Black. But it's not as funny as I wanted it to be, and it contains some odd plot holes, including the stupidest computer glitch in the history of computers. Seriously, it's worse than the movie Hackers in it's entirety.

So, my recomendations. If you've got a group of friends and you've already decided that you're going to go see a movie, this is a good choice. But if you're not already going to the movies, don't bother going just for this one. Wait for The Prestige to come out. That looks awesome

Essential Skills Assessment 5

So no work for me today! I had to write an exam to see if I'm smart enough to be an electrical apprentice. The one for construction electrician is the toughest one they have. Number Five!

Holy crap was it easy. multiple choice math questions? how can I possibly screw those up? The funny thing is that the only questions that I had no idea whatsoever on, where the ones specifically refering to the electrical trade! I took electrical circuts and junk back in grade 9, I don't remember that! So I guessed on maybe 10 questions and aced the rest of it. I even found a mistake in the exam and got to write up a form explianing to them just what they did wrong.

Why does 1 cubic meter of cold air weigh more than 1 cubic meter of warm air?

A. because the cold air has more volume
B. because the cold air is denser
C. because the cold air molecules are further apart
D. because the cold air molecules are closer together

Am I the only one who thought B and C are not only both right, but actually say the same thing?

IT WORKS!

Monday bleh

So today I got to play with the big giant Bosch hammer drill again. This thing weighs A LOT. I'd put it around 60 lbs. Now add that to trying to drill through a foot of cement filled with steel, and then put this whole situation at the top of a 12 foot ladder, and you have a tired Dave. All before lunch. Or after lunch... I can't remember when I had to do it. It sucked though. And tomorrow I get to work all by myself! Yay! No wait, I hate that, cause I don't really know what I'm doing.

Please Don't Die

So, I love wrestling. That might make me a bad person, but so be it. It's awesome!
I downloaded (this might also make me a bad person) an old Ring Of Honor tape of Paul London. It's his "best of" tape, named Please Don't Die cause fans started chanting that at him during a match where he was just doing the craziest things in the damn world. Fricken awesome!

Maplestory

So, I started playing a new online game. Maplestory. For some reason those folks don't like firefox, so you have to download the game through IE, but after that, it's all good.
Anyways, it's a free MMORPG that's also a sidescrolling platform game. It's pretty nifty so far, nothing blowing my socks off, but it's free after all. And pretty fun. Everyone should waste their time ther with me

Where's my TI3?

So, I got to not go to work today! Instead I went to a safety orientation and WHMIS training. Woot! That's not the most dry material in the god damned world! It turns out that Rebecca Hanson is also an apprentice at Dobblesteyn's now. I had a rediculous crush on her back in high school, and of course she looks just as good now after 2 kids... and a divorce. Ka-Ching!

So anyways after that ended I was all like, "Hey, I'm totally uptown, let's head over to Gamezilla annd see if they got in my copy of Twilight Imperium (3rd edition). This is one of those huge rediculous board games that has everything you could ever possibly want and a few other things thrown in. I pre-ordered it right as it went out of print, so I've been waiting patiently for it and went in to touch base, see if they were up and running again, or what kind of wait they were expecting. Turns out that it'll probably be in next week.

BUT!
Man, we have this kick ass sale on Avalon Hill games! 2 for 1! So I bought 2 games today on a whim: Betrayal at House on the Hill has always been on my radar, as a pretty cool looking strategy game with that suspenceful twist (everyone is on the same team, except for one person who is secretly trying to lose the game without getting caught); and cause it was essentially free, I grabbed Monsters Menace America cause it just plain looks like fun! I get to be Godzilla and go stomp on Disneyland? Hook me up!

Man, this is what happens when I have money. I can't help it!

Moncton

So I spent last weekend in Moncton. It rocked! The rocking was certainly helped by the Jimmy Swift Band making me boogy on Friday night, but I almost didn't make it to the show. I was a sleepy bunny. I planned on having a nap before driving to moncton but it just didn't happen cause I had to work later that day than normal. but I got there and had a few drinks and a power nap and then hit the town. It was a grand show and I got their new cd. Then Chris Phillips drove over to pick up his newest lady friend and I slept on her futon til about 6 when Chris woke me up cause her mom would be home soon! Hilarious!
Saturday I got salt cheese at the market... Oh my god is that ever freakin salty!!! But awesome! I gave Balthazar some over at Ali's place and his eyes just lit up. His bland little world was shattered
Then that night I played some board games at Chris C's (only C cause I'd mispell his name) brother's place and fun was had by all.
I saw a Playboy Lazer Disc! No player, but the disc itself was nifty
Then Sunday, I had lunch with my aunt and her husband and Ali and Chris and we moved a freezer for my aunt. Me and Chris made something like $420 and hour for it. We want to start a moving business now.
That night it was turkey dinner time at Ali's parent's place. Ghostbusters 2 and a slobbery dog. Good times! And dinner was great even with the conspicious absence of gravy....
Monday = basketball with the hookshot all star Marc and feeding the ducks with his GF Mel. She brought us all hamburger buns to give them. I only ate a little of the stuff she gave me. It's a nice park, made me want to go to Odell Park here.

It was a good trip

Friday night: the geek edition

Oh man, I didn't realize how wiped I was today. After a nice rainy day of getting next to nothing done at work, and left at 2:30 (I'm electrician, that's just how we roll) I went to the comic book shop to pick up a comic Derek forgot to put in my bag, which is no big deal, it was hella hectic on wednesday. I also bought a board game, cause if I don't have real money and I'm putting a $3 comic on my credit card, I might as well buy Buccaneer so I have some choice of stuff to play tomorrow night. So I came home, watched some Corner Gas that I borrowed from my dad and then, you know that kind electric surgey snap that happens to a tv when the power is flickering? They did it to tvs in The Ring a bunch... Well anyways, my eyes did that. So I was all like, "Wow, it so = nap time" and slept til about 8:45. Then I played Line Racer until typing this up, and having a beer. Dear god I love Line Racer! I draw a line, if the guy stays up, I save it and keep drawing... and I can do it forever... it's so fricken fun! Now I think I'll read Buddha by Osamu Tezuka. In case you didn't know (I didn't) he also created Astro Boy

Where can I get one of these?

This is SO AWESOME!!!

Hot man cam

Hey kids, I just found out that the good city of fredericton is monitering the the progress of the skating rinks I'm working on. And not only are they recording these happenings, but they're on the interweb! Check out Dave's work's webcam. There's nobody there right now or course, but through out the day you'll be able to see me running pipe in the inside of the roof on right with a boom lift

Nap of Champions

The best thing about working in a trade is fucking off early on Fridays. It's not even expected that you'd stay til 5. Hell, the masons went home at noon! We stayed til 2:30 pulling wire, and that's probably only cause we had to have NB power come along and hook us up. Well, he had to open up a transformer, we pulled wires through it, and then he locked the transformer. We aren't alowed in those thingies, I'm not sure why...
But oh man, leaving at 2:30 on fridays is so fricken awesome! I came home, watched 2 episodes of THE TICK which is an awesome show but a pretty lousy dvd series. I WANT EXTRAS!!! Episode commentary isn't optional with these things, you haves to put it in there for geeks like me. They also left out an episode, which they claim is cause it sucked and nobody wanted to put it in there or something...
Then, it = nap time. And boy howdy did I ever nap. I got up at 8:30 and I could still go for another nap

Just like the flunkies from Return To Oz

Yeah that's right, I'll have wheels! Right now I'm taking the bus to get across the river, then walking a 20 minute trip in 15 to get to work 5 minutes late everyday. Uncool. So I'm getting the car that my brother left behind when he skipped out to Ontario.

So, a few days ago, I was walking to Sobeys to get some eats and some supplies to make future eats, when I happened upon my exact double. He was walking toward me on the sidewalk and he was the same height, same build, balding blond hair with a beard, I mean I could be his stunt double and noone would ever know he difference. Also, I was wearing blue t-shirt, green shorts and sandals; so was he. So I smiled to myself and put my hands in my pockets, cause he had his hands in his pockets. he took his hands out. I took my hands out, but then I couldn't keep it up and I started laughing, other wise I would have done that whole "think someone else is a mirror" thing. So now there's someone out there who thinks he has a completely insane exact double...

Apprentice is go

So, tomorrow the apprentiship officer is gonna show up to sign me up for the road to electicity. Ben Franklin, I'm on my way! But I have to have my high school diploma to show the guy, which I don't have here at all. I think / hope it's at my parent's place and that they can bring it in to me. Cause I just found out at like 3 PM that he'd be coming tomorrow at 7:30 AM. Not a whole lot of prep time. I mean, it'd be enough for Batman, but I'm no batman.

Yet

Food

Sweet jesus! Why did it take so long for Mr Christie to make Golden Oeros? Cause they rock my little world.

Also, the new diet pepsi that's strawberry and cream flavoured? If I had first born sons to give away for it, well, let's just say I wouldn't have them anymore

New Comic Book Day

I got there after work today and there on the shelf, was the new American Splendor series! I'd completely forgoten about it, but there was still about 5 copies of #1 there so I didn't miss out.

Don't you cats miss out either! It's American Splendor after all, and who doesn't love Harvey Pekar?

dig a ditch

First off, I am so happy that there's a new tic tac girl commercial! If I knew anything else about her I'd totally be in jail for stalking.
But anyways, had my first day at the new job today. We're building a hockey arena with two rinks. It's pretty snazzy right now cause there's really nothing done and the job is 6 weeks behind schedual. Hurry it up steel guys! So today I stood outside in the heat and dug little tiny ditches to run pvc piping through and then burying them so they can pour cement over top. Hopefully things move along quickly, cause I prefer the not digging in the dirt kind of electrical work. And holy crap, there are some big arsed hammer drills! After using one for about 15 minutes to make room in the cement for (you guessed it) pvc pipe I got a charlie horse. In my forearm! I lifted my arm to carry something and my arm just locked up bent. It was all kinds of fun!

Water candle

Is this the coolest picture that has ever been made? Quite possibly. And were there other awesome pictures like this on the webpage Dave got it from? Most certainly. Was the website in Russian making new searches for the page futile? Of course. Did Dave clear his web history after getting this picture? You better believe it

Stupid Dave

Haircut: Check Real Job: Check

So I took my resume into to Dobblesteyn's this morning. Got a phone call this afternoon. I start working out at the new hockey rink going out behind Leo Hayes next Tuesday. They work me for a month and then if I'm still into it, I get indetured and start a new career in the big boy leagues. Cause really, crappy jobs are crappy. This should be good.
I bought a new board game yesterday and I want to play yo. Puerto Rico!

Also, Transfomers continues to contradict itself to almost parody levels...

It's that time of night

So it's 1:39 am on a tuesday morning, so of course I'm watching transformers and listening to Quirks and Quarks podcasts. This one tells me about why snow squeaks and crunches in different temperatures. Also, yum beer! The glories of the unemployed man... I'm totally gonna play some Jungle Strike later too. Have I mentioned that I heart adding links into sentences? Cause I totally think it's totally awesome! As a geeky fan of manuals and Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, I can't get enough of footnotes. seriously, throw a little ¹ in there, and I get all gleed up about additional information readily available. You know, cause I'm a geek.
But I'm huge fan of the hyperlink. If I was a teacher, I would demand all essays to be be submitted as HTML, with links o'plenty peppered throughout. But none of those crap paid links that seem to be cropping up. The ones that are basically a program by like google ads or something, that takes very common words, underlines them twice in green instead of once in blue, and links you to some commercial that the word means. Those are annoying. Out of context information bugs me, and out of context info tryign to get me to buy stuff is not welcome. You hear me Google Ads? Get your internets out of the way of my internets! This isn't a truck you know

Get Out Stay Out

So, tonight is my last day at Quiznos! Rock rock on! Oh I am so glad to be getting out of there right now. They're gonna be short on supervisors and competant staff, and they're gonna tear the place to pieces to put a Beavertails in there. Which is really just a bad move. Cause they're not gonna bother hiring any new staff to try and run that thing. And they'll need to clean the deep fryer... And judging from the way the managers / owners run the other stuff it just wno't get done. They have a "run it til it breaks" attitude on maintence. Oh well, it's somebody else's problem now.

New you can use

Ah, an update on Dave.
I've quit the Quiznos gig!

Man that place was lousy. And kinda shady, they got us to date all the meat and veggies, but never actually threw any out, they just changed the dates on the stuff in case an inspector from head office came in... that's also known as disgusting. I would always throw old stuff out anyway, but who knows if other people did.
Also, they're getting a beavertails in there, which = deep fryer. Which makes Dave ++ happy to leave.

Oh, and I got my special collecter's edition of the entire Transformers series in the mail today! There's some funky chinese menus that you never really have to look at, but it's so awesome! Considering I only paid $11 for it, I'm amazed at the production value in it. There's a bunch of artwork from the Dreamwave comic series, and it came with post cards and a key chain, not to mention the big tin box it comes in. It is easily the best deal ever.

But oh man is Transformers hilarious! It's amazing how often the writers forget that they can all fly, cause at least once an episode someone falls out of the sky in a big crash

The Incomparable Brian Wood

So, the people who read this know how I tend too the indie side of media. Today a package arrived from the internet for me filled to bursting with comics. Comics by Brian Wood. Now I know that Comics are a niche market, and even the BIG names don't have much recognition outside of it's fans. Like, Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, Neil Gaiman, Brian Bendis... These are the rock stars of the industry. But keep in mind that the best selling books only sell 150,000 copies. And those the big sellers. So independant comic book guys are about as indie as you can get. And when nobody's watching you can make some really good stuff! He writes about everything from the allure of small towns (Local) to journalism in modern war (DMZ) to punk rock romance (Pounded). So I completed my collection of his stuff and am just in fricken love with it.

If you think you'd like comics, but don't think capes are your thing ask me to pick you out one of his things to read. Or come borrow it, whatever.

I'm really having a nice obscure night, reading b&w comics, clicking my way through new music canada (check out "Can you do that dance?" by Pink Mountaintops), drinking Dr Pepper, and watching stolen Patlabor episodes

Thoughts on lazer beams

So, just in case anyone is still on the 'is Dave a big geek?" fence... I think about this sort of thing ALL THE TIME!


Did you ever notice how in movies and videogames, you can always see the lazers that people / robots are shooting at each other? This isn't really the bad part too me, since there's bound to be some dissipation in the beam due to Tindel's effect. But the bad part is when people see it coming, and move out of the way! The lazer itself is MADE of light! It's moving as fast as the light refracted off it is coming to your eye. In other words, the very exact same instant that you see the lazer beam fired, it hits you. Hopefully in the eye. Heck you might even see it after you get hit, since the light your seeing bounced around a little on it's way to you. So, if these are just regular lazers, then dodging is out of the option.

So they can't be lazers. And really, if they're handheld guns, putting the power to produce enough light to do any serious damage, and the lenses to focus it in such a small space is costly and all kinds of dangerous. And sure, you can say that it's not light, just fired energy, but you still get the same problem. I like think that it is still light, but that it's light slowed down

Yeah, think about that one for a second. Cause you just can't do it. Except for maybe in some sort of space-stretching "warp" drives or other nonsense. But that also would take a bunch of power and I want my lazers handheld. Yes, this quickly turned into a "how can we make lazer guns cause I really want them" line of thinking.

So, we go back to keeping regular light, focused in on itself, and somehow refracting the wavelengths, off of itself. This really doesn't make much sense, but I really like the idea. The lazer beam is a tightly packed group of light bouncing off of itself, inside itself, to keep it condensed into a single point of contact and seering lazer death! High five!

And then you can have all kinds of wacky stuff, like altering the speed of the beam for intensity, so fast shots do less damage then slow shots, which is the sort of balance you'd expect in, you guessed it, video games. Which means that I like this idea, regardless of just how rediculous it is.

Hey Lady, it's NOT in you to give

So I gave blood yesterday. I feel it's important to have a good supply of my blood type floating around in case of shenangins. Plus they sometimes have kick ass treats for you. Not this time though. But they did have those vanilla Oreo cookies, which kick ass! Vanilla is my favorite flavour of everything.

When I got there, there was this... I was gonna say middle aged, but she was more like a 3/4 aged woman already in a bed with her arm dripping away. So I did my iron test, filled out a questionaire, had my pulse, blood pressure & temp taken, was looked over for track lines, got more questions from a nurse about the things I might have exchanged for sex and / or drugs, then went out and ended up in the bed right next to this woman. Still there, her blood sack maybe half full.

Now I am a champion bleeder! I do okay on the clot tests, but I get an A for blood letting. I showed her how it was done, and in less than 20 minutes I was out of the bed again. Keep in mind they make you wait for 10 before standing up again after you finish. Booyah Grandma! So then I went and had a few oranges and a few juice boxes and a whole mess of cookies and water while reading some David Copperfield. I didn't pay much attention to how much time had passed but I looked back when I left and she was still there!

Come on! I know you want to be a hero (like me) but maybe you should be picking up a few pints instead of dropping one off

Maxed out Inbox

So, when I got home today I found at that my Inbox was overflowing. Not my Gmail one, cause that's some sort of tesseract, but my outside the house mailbox was full! I got a t-shirt (yay) some junk mail from Aliant (boo) some mail from Ali (yay) and my credit card bill (boo). But you get a free yogurt, the yogurt is also cursed, but you get your free choice of topping, the toppings contain lithium sodiate.

Back to junior high

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

You know, for a second there, I almost felt proud of myself. Then I remembered it was 8th grade science

eBought

So, now that I have the internet, it means that I have access to eBay again. This means that I can buy the entire original series of transformers + the movie, in one special tin boxed set for $11
Of course it's from China so it costs $34 dollars to ship it here, but that is still one hells of a bargin! Of course it won't play on regular dvd players, which is why the bastards over here think they can charge $200 for a single season of Star Trek... knowing full well that some sucker will buy it. It's far cheaper to shop overseas and just remove the regional code from your dvd player

Haley Jo Osmond should pay it back...

So, okay, I loved the movie pay it forward. Maybe that makes me a little girl, but really, that's not the point here. The point is that the little boy in the movie just stole the pay a favour forward thing from Kung Fu! And not only that, he dropped it from 10 down to three! So he's not only a thief, but he's also right lazy!!! I think that Kevin Spacey should post-humously fail him for cheating.

Seriously, you can learn all sorts of things from Kung Fu. For instance, young Jodie Foster can't sing!

5th Avenue

I've been craving a 5th avenue bar something awful, but this stupid city doesn't have any. A brief search online tells me I can buy a box of them for $24 plus another $20 for shipping because Canada costs an extra $15 to get into (wait, what?)


Anyone got any ideas how I can satisfy my need for some chocolate covered crunchy peanut butter toffee? And no, a butterfinger ain't gonna cut it

Kung Fu: Before the Legend Continues

So how come I've never watched Kung Fu before? I mean an old school western staring a shaolin priest sounds like it sprung directly from my hopes and dreams. And yet, I'm only watching it now, curtesy of the pre-owned section of Blockbuster video, and my Dad's furvent "This is awesome, I'm buying it right now". Anyways, season 1 is currently kicking (bigot cowboy) ass, so once I finish, I'll be on the lookout for season 2. I'm sure Walmart's got it.

Scat practice

Yes you read that right. Scat practice, today at Quiznos. Show up sometime in the morning and work on your aim in the public washrooms. Be the next tubgirl!
Seriously, some messed up things went on in the men's washroom. Now I haven't watched a lot of CSI, but I can follow the splatter patern pretty well. This person sprayed their shit down into the toliet, and it was going fast enough to spray back up and hit the underside of the seat, and spray out the crack between the bowl and the seat to coat the wall beside it. Now this is some pretty forceful diareha. But it only come back up and out on one side, which means that the person just stood there beside the toilet and let loose. How he didn't coat himself I'll never know. Unless he did, and he's just really gross....

Don't talk to strangers

So at work yesterday. Some crazy woman came into the store today and talked to Mary for about 8 minutes on what she had for lunch before coming here. I figured that Mary knew her, but no, she was just crazy. Then she got her sub, and while we were serving someone else, this crazy woman's mother came over and said she wanted to buy a paper. Well yes, since you're the only one of the 150 people in the store that's even remotely important, I'll be right there.
She gave up waiting after about a minute, cause when I went over to help her, she was gone and the original crazy woman was back asking about our icecream cakes. She asked if we'd be able to put a picture of her daughter in it, like they do at Dairy Queen. Well I had no idea, so I told her to check in the morning with the woman who makes the cakes. So far, she's been sane.
But then she starts going into intricate detail of her daughter's birthday to me. How old she is (only 15), how she's going to a certain restaurant on a certain date with a certain number of her friends, none of them adults, and it'll all be completely unsupervised...

LADY! I'm a stranger! Don't tell people shit like that! Jesus Christ, I almost expected her to hand me a manilla envelope and a briefcase full of money and guns

For anyone who's ever had a job

I recomend The Acts of Gord to anyone who's ever had to deal with a really stupid customer. Even though this guy runs a video game rental place, you'll recognize the same stupidity over and over that you'll get at McDonalds or Walmart or really anywhere else that they let the general public into.

Also, if you read these and don't see what the customer did wrong, bash in your genitals with a hammer. It's for the greater good

(an hour or so later)

So I only thought of this website again after Chuck sent me a link about how to be a horrible customer, and i just re-read the whole site. I'd forgotten just how good it is! If you don't want to be hassled with reading the whole site just read The Book of Victory

INTERNETS!!!!

So I bit the bullet and finally got me some of my own web action. And let me tell you, when you're not sneakily stealing a little bandwith from some random stranger at some unknown distance... the internet can be damned fast!
I'm working at about 10 to 15 times faster than I wsa over the free fredericton wireless too. It's good stuff! Of course now I'm spoiled and won't be able to go back... Hopefully I worked my math right and can afford it. Otherwise you'll see me with some crazy signs depicting all the sorts of things I'll do for a fix of broadband

Par is for Sissies

So yesterday I went golfing for the first time evers. I hit a lot of completelt flat shots that just rolled for 100 yards. It was pretty awesome. And I don't really like hitting irons, cause you have to hit the ground for them, and it just feels wrong. So I swing too high. And it just rolls along hte ground. But all in all it was okay, I'd probably do it again. Maybe next time it wouldn't be so dammed hot

Wish Battery

So, I was talking to Siobhan about how her twin sister stole her birthday wish since they shared a cake, and thought what if we can just store up wish power to use later? So like, I could throw a fistful of change in a fountain, but not make a wish, just store up my potential. Or see shooting stars, or blow eyelashes and all those things, but just sort of mentally shunt it into your wishing bank account. And that the older you get, the more room you have for wishing power. You have as many slots as you have candles on the cake. So before my next b-day wish I'm gonna have to see a lot of falling rocks...

Zinédine Zidane

What the heck was that!?!?!?!
I don't know what that guy said to him, but I doubt it was worth losing the World Cup in his final appearance... And this just might be me, but I don't think he should been awarded the tournament MVP. Not after this.

And if you're gonna headbutt the guy in teh chest, why not just swing a fist at him? He might as well of considering how hard he clocked him

Non-Mario golf

I went out to the bucket club with my dad a few days ago, friday I think, and hit a bucket of balls. Now, I used to work there and routinely hit off 100 balls a day and had a pretty good swing when it got right down to it, balls went straight, and if I tried hard I could hit the the church on the other side of the fence at the end of the range. They finally got around to put a big net up there so you can't do that anymore... not that I could these days!
I didn't realize how long it had been! Like 6 years? 7 years? I sucked for a good long time, then got somewhat of a decent swing back, but I have a huge hook now and all my muscles hurt like the wind. We're going out to play a real game of golf on wednesday. I've never played real golf ever! It will be wonky.

Movers and Shakers

So my little sister got evicted. Well, almost evicted. The people she was renting from wanted to use her apartment for a nursery or some such nonsense, and are moving her into the apt right upstairs from where she is now. She gets an extra room for only $50 more. Or course, it really means that she has to take all her things up a rickety set of steel stairs. So I got to help! Man, all of the big stuff that we took up there seemed like it was custom made for that entrance. The futon, the box spring, her tv. All of it had like less than an inch of clearance to play with. It was all kinds of fun! I got to fix her vacuum too cause she'd cleaned up wallpaper with it and jammed the hose. Good times! Then I had some of the pepsi that her mom left behind and we watched the second episode of the new Rockstar show. I thought that they kicked off the best of the three guys that were up for elmination, and that they loved the guy who put on the worst show. Then I though about it for a second. These guys are from Motley Crew, Guns and Roses, and Metalica... I hate every song these bands ever made! No wonder I don't agree with their choice.

Operation de-pastify

So, as a geeky nightowl, I don't get a lot of sun. I get some sun since I walk everywhere, but that just means I've got some kick ass farmer tanlines going on. And that's just wrong. So I've been sitting out in the sun with David Copperfeild and Boktai 2. But that means i need a chair, AND a sunny spot, and the second one doesn't happen in my driveway. But the parking lot / alley outside the window is perfect for it, I just have to walk my chair around to there. But I'm lazy and don't want to do that, so I looked for a place to stash my chair. And that's when I found a new shortcut to my apartment! I can't beleive that I didn't see it before, since it's a big opening between the fence and my house, but somehow i missed it.
I really heart shortcuts. Everywhere I go, I'm constinatly looking into front yards and driveways to see if there's a more efficient path. And now I can almost walk straight as the crow flies to my work. It'd make a sweet google map

Superman Returns

Like anyone thought for a second I wouldn't see this movie. And I can tell you, The very first minute of the opening credits had me hooked. And I didn't find a single thing wrong with the movie in the remaining 2 hours and 39 minutes . If anyone had their doubts bout Brandon Routh as Superman... well, they = squashed now.


Also, I picked up a little model mystery box at the comic shop last wednesday. Who did I get?





You're damn right

But I like the Vehicle Team

Okay, so does anyone else live with a constant barage of coincidences? I decided that I wanted to get the old Voltron series, started downloading them, then hit my bookmarks to find this comic:



This sort of thing never stops happening to me! Now I get surprised when something happens that I haven't been thinking about for half an hour

Charismatic Kerisma

So, a really weird thing happened today at work. Keri brought back my copy of the Labyrinth on DVD. This wouldn't have been that weird except that we haven't spoken in about a year after a "falling out". I'll admit that'it was all my doing, cause I was just way too smitten (I realize this is a corny word, but it fits the best) with her. Also, I doubt that she really thought I meant what I said when I told her after the fight that we were done as friends, she probably thought it was just a normal fight or whatever... But yeah, she just came in, ran over, put the movie on the counter, said she was sorry, and left. I = puzzled

Extra Ordinary

So I have a work filled week, including 10 hours on Canada day! This is both raise day and a time and a half day. And less tax day! It's a good day to be my bank account... I wonder if my bank account could spontaniously develop sentience... Like if I put an extra halk penny in there, the 0s and 1s could add up into some crazy Ghost in the Shell life. And then it changes my pin number (tee hee, I'm stupid! personal identification number number? Wise up Dave) so I can't pull him it apart, but that change turns him from benevolant checking account(bum bum BUM!) to rampaging AI monster! And then it comes after me so that I can't like, go to a teller or something and access it directly, and it possesses those new smart cars that look super ugly, and I'd laugh until I saw them all combine voltron style and it trys to go stompy on me. And then it would tunr out that the only way to stop it would be to open a savings account to be the good Captain Kirk to it's evil Captain Kirk... All the time stopping at every ATM trying to guess the new PIN.

Somebody call Joel Schumacher, I've got a movie for him

The Second Round

So, we're past the group stage of the World Cup and the Netherlands are still in it. Not that I was worried they'd make it this far. But now, they have to play Portugal next. So I'm worried. I think they have the best shot of winning this year. I figure it's going to be a Germany / Portugal final. Of course, I'm hoping it's Germany / Holland final, but I wouldn't put money on it. It's really quite nice out, so I think I'll spend some outside time after this Argentina / Mexico match ends. But I can't leave it cause it's pretty fricken awesome

Grant hearts my ears

So, I don't know if there is anyone out there in the internet that doesn't know about CBC Radio 3's podcast but hot damn I enjoy it! It's the number one (#1) downloaded podcast on iTunes every single week. The best of new Canadian Indie music every week, from rock to trance to country to rap... It's just about the best place I can think of to find new awesome to listen to. Well, that and Pandora

Lazy lazy teachers

So it's the last week of school, today being the last day for most of them I think. Anyways, as everybody knows, the last week of school = a complete joke, comprising mostly of french language speeling bees and games of hangman. And of course, trips to the local icecream parlor. Yay! So, with all the planning that must go into these trips, printing permission slips, sending them home, telling all the parents to send moeny with their kids and all that, you'd think that at least one of the teachers would phone the icecream place to make sure they can handle a sudden barage of 80 tweens. It's really not that hard! We'd know that people were coming, and we could have had extra people working. Instead at the absolute busiest time of day, when all the office workers are wrapped half way around the store as we try to rush their subs through the oven, I hear a wall of noise come through the doors... and we = pooched.
So that's what the lazy teachers do. My Dad actually drove to St John last saturday to check out places to eat after going swimming there. Stupid lazy teachers...

I hate women over 35

So, everytime i come along a pack of 40ish women cackling at how they're all going dry, it makes me wish I owned a gun.

Complimentary Compliments?

So there's a salon on way to both work, and the place where I've been watching the World Cup, and on the sign outside they say they're giving away a complimentary eyebrow shaping with every pedicure... And really these two body parts could ot be further away from each other. So, I'm thinking that the salon owner's pet peve is all these girls walking around with their bushy eyebrows and she's out to set them right! On almost the same topic, I want to have a "help the skanky" day and hand out full size t-shirts and sandwiches to teenage girls at the mall. Society just can't be trusted to cover up their jutting hip bones without my help.

New Post Day

So I've got nothing to talk about, which almost immediately turns conversations to the Simpsons, video games or comic books. But not today! Maybe. I don't know. So my apartment is on the ground floor with one window, and in front of that window was a huge crop of alders effectively blocking our stars harmful radiation from my peaceful dreamland. But then one morning, and I'm not talking about a "Dave Standard" morning of 2 pm, actual morning, like 6:30 am three guys came around and cut them all down! What's the deal guys? I think one of them was my landlord. Come on landlord? Are my mornings not productive enough for you? Should I start getting the paper and do some reading up on my stocks while the Mrs trys to get the kids out of bed and fed so they also have productive mornings? Huh? Well I've got news for you Mister! You and your tree cutting guys. I just closed my window and managed to sleep in! Yup yup yup. I just played a game of go online. I got STOMPED. This guy kept trapping me in ladders and I always seemed to be one step behind in my capturing battles... He didn't have his rank up, so I didn't get a rank because of that, or something... I want to know how crappy I am!

Going nowhere

So, I'm trying to play Go against my dad, but MSN decided that they were going to improve it, and put it directly on the games list in messenger. And when they do that, then they're deleting it from the Zone webpage. Of course this didn't actually happen, they deleted it for sure, but haven't put it up on messanger yet... It's not like they really had that much work to do is there? They had it made, and it was already configured to work using an MSN passport and on their servers... What's the fricken hold up? Also watching game 7 of the stanley cup finals... I should be cheering for the Oilers, but my god they play dirty. More hockey and less penalties please

Bananaless splits please

We ran out of bananas at the icecream bar today, but people still wanted them. Now this just confuses me, cause the only reason to get a banana split over a sundae or parfait is the fact that it's got banana in it, and bananas are delicious. Maybe these people just don't want anything to do with fench sounding words. Okay, from now on banana splits without bananas are called bigot splits

World Cup Fever!

It is World cup time!!!! WOO HOO!!! Of course I don't have cable, but then again, I don't have internet and I'm still typing this, so this isn't a big damper to my match viewing. There's a free trade coffee shop just down the street that's a hangout for people who'd buy free trade coffee, and that means that the games are always on when I walk in there. Plus, it's part of the city's free wireless internet zone, so I can have all the stats and such up while I watch. It's good stuff! And I love bright orange shirts, so who should I chear for? Holland? The Netherlands?

Nah, screw it, I'll chear for the Dutch...

Wait wait, Spider-man is Peter Parker???

So for all the non-geeks out there who might happen across this, Spider-man is out! Not out of the closet, but out of the tights! He revealed his secret identity!!! And not just to like Aunt May or MJ... No no, he held a fricken press conference and took off his mask!

Oh Marvel Comics, let's go get drunk and spend a magical night in a hot tub...

Dave - The Blog 2: Electric Boogaloo

So I decided that I missed having a blog, mostly cause I miss complete nonsensical writing. Why yes, I did read the new Kurt Vonnegut book. And yeah, the new Douglas Coupland too. I'm sorry, but an entire page devoted to a very small font of the phrase "Grind the molten bucket" makes my little spark gleam! Maybe I should have said soul, but if Spark is good enough for Optimus Prime, then it's good enough for me! I mean who would put a goal from Tony Hawk in their book, without any context, or anything else even on that page? A fellow geek that's who. I like how he writes himself into this book (a very Vonnegut thing to do) and has all the characters refer to him as a snobby asshole. Beautiful! I'm working on a mixed cd for work, so no cussing! Here's what I've got so far:

Coffee Song - Transistor
Nowhere with you - Joel Plaskett
Ballad of a lonely Construction worker - Cuff the Duke
Crude Bomb - The Evens
Phonomenon - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Ego tripping at the gates of hell - The Flaming Lips
Styrofoam Boots / It's All Nice on Ice, Alright - Modest Mouse
Anatomy of a Headline - Sylvie
Speak Slow - Tegan and Sarah
Jockey Full of Bourbon - Tom Waits
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service


I'd ask for suggestions but no one knows this exists yet, and by the time I show it around, I'll have a few more posts and more than likely, that cd done.